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| Maxwell finally had his surgery. I was less apprehensive than I expected. It went more than good and even had a surprise thicker skull due to the few pounds he put on in the last two months. This made everything much better. He is recovering quite nicely and I can't wait until the 'cut' is healed and I don't have to worry about it getting infected. I was rather surprised how it was actually done. I didn't really know where exactly they would cut and was surprised when I took off the bandage today (never got a look at it before because it had to be covered for 48 hours) and more than half of the cut is exactly where the ear meets with head. I am assuming that is to limit a noticeable scar. The cut is neat and clean and looks like it may heal quite nicely.
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| There is less than a week before Maxwell's surgery. His MRI went well and he came out of anesthesia much better and quicker than ever before. It was also the fastest recovery time and we left 20 minutes after he was done.
It is cold here. Very cold, but not as cold as other places. We don't have snow, and that is a blessing.
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| The time draws near for Maxwell surgery. The decision to go forward with the surgery was not taken lightly and the first time I thought about it was when he was first diagnosed as deaf. There have been many times where I had decided it would not be a good idea, but as time went on I felt it was the right thing to do and to open up his world a little bit more. I also had to realize that miracles happen in many different ways and there are many miracles provided through resources such as technology and medicine. It was also a decision which involved a lot of prayer, and even now I am forced to rethink as I go through the emotions prior to the surgery. I have to remind myself of what has transpired to lead us to this and that if something goes wrong it is not my fault. I also have to go through the doubts that go through my mind of whether this is right decision, even if I know it is. These are all normal feelings and such, and I recognize them as so. I find comfort in places that seem unlikely and feel peace when I don't think I should.
This week will be the MRI. Maxwell will be sedated for it. The MRI may or may not give us a clue to what is wrong with his little body, and it may even be proof to not do the surgery. These are things that we just have to wait for.
On Tuesday we may find out if we can get braces for Maxwell's ankles/legs. We may even be able to start the process for a walker/gait trainer. Next week we will see if he needs glasses as well.
Despite all the things that seem to go wrong, or have the opportunity to go wrong, there are so many miracles. Eve since Maxwell was born I have become more aware of the miracles that exist, the miracles that we take for granted. Maxwell is a miracle. How often do we take things for granted? so many things just came naturally to us that we never really had to think about them when we learned them, others come so naturally we never think about them because we don't need to. It just happens. For Maxwell, it doesn't. Each breath he takes is a miracle and since it is free of loud noises, it is an even bigger miracle. Even the ability to eat is a miracle or gain weight. How many people really have to think about gaining weight or rather, shall I say, grow. Our bodies just naturally work in a certain way that they grow on their onw, provided we do nourish them, but Maxwell doesn't efven grow, even when he eats twice as much as Abby.
I think the rest of my life will be proclaiming to others that miracles have not ceased. Each pereson alive is a miracle, whether their body is in working condition or not. Every heart beat is a miracle. Every breath we take is a miracle. Every step we take is a miracle. The knowledge that is out there is a miracle and the knowledge yet to be discovered is as well.
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| I know the value of going to bed early, I just haven't learned to go to bed earlier.
I am excited for this month. So many things will happen. So many things have already happened. this month Max is scheduled for surgery. As long as his MRI comes out OK and there is nothing that would warrant stopping the surgery then I will be OK. I suppose I would be OK if it didn't happen, but it is a surgery that we have been hoping for and hope to improve his quality of life. If not, I am sure he will still be the happy boy he is already.
On a side note, he started to grow again and by our scale that is two pounds in just over a month. I hope it continues and I can see that with the growth he is also getting stronger and learning more things.
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| Time seems to pass by so quickly some days and then other days it goes by slow. There are moments and days that I wish would never pass but they have to otherwise I would never get any new moments.
Christmas is almost here. Something is different this Christmas, but I'm not sure what.
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